Oh, crap.

So, I was backstage for a show one time (which was actually a rather CRAPPY show...HAHA, oh, I kill myself), and a fellow cast member (a male) commented on how much he just loves women and how beautiful they are. (obviously he hasn't seen me in the morning harharhar)

Anyways, he went on to say that, and I quote,"Girls don't poop. They just can't. I refuse to believe that girls poop."

Hmm.Okay.

This makes me chuckle. I mean, sorry babe, but, girls in fact DO poop...unless, I'm a he-she or something and something is drastically wrong with me. But, yeah, we poop. I mean, what else would we do? We just eat stuff and it magically turns into beautifying cream inside our bodies. Wow, I wish.

But, pooping, I suppose, just seems like a..."manly" thing to do.

Men always get the rep of being the gross gender who fart and burp...and poop. But, girls just don't do any of those things. Because we're perfection. hehehe. But, I mean, I agree to a certain degree on the weirdness of thinking about some girls pooping. I mean, like supermodels...Heidi Klum. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she doesn't poop. Or like...me. You know, I'm insanely beautiful and I'm pretty sure guys would never believe that I could ever poop. (laugh. I'm kidding)

I've met a fair share of girls that just ooze perfection in my book. They're ALWAYS nice and happy. They're beautiful. They have the perfect boyfriend. They wear a size 00. They have flawless skin and hair. They are really neat and have probably never NOT made their bed. You know these people. And, well, I'm pretty sure those girls don't poop either. I mean, how could they? They're just so AWESOME

But, why is pooping such a degrading nasty thing? I mean, I don't know about you, but, I feel SO much better after I poop. Sometimes, I feel at least 5 pounds lighter which makes me feel SEXXXAAYYYY...(HAHA) I mean, sure, it's all the gross waste that your body doesn't need, but, isn't getting that stuff out better than keeping it all in?? Pooping should be glorified!! You should probably throw a party and pray a little thankful prayer to God that all that crap isn't stuck all up in you causing diseases! The act of pooping is a GLORIOUS thing!!

You know you're supposed to poop 3 times a day? I eat my fiber so, I'm doing pretty well...but, some people have told me that they only poop like ONCE A WEEK! or something even WORSE than that!!! Duuuuuude eat some vegetables!!! My goodness!! POOP ALREADY!! You're just trying to be a GIRL...cuz, they don't poop, you know.

My mom is like nutritionist/health crazed/PHD Nutrition super woman...and she loves talking about stuff like poop.

It's really disturbing in a way when your mother just wants to tell you about all the different kinds of poop and what they mean. But, I'm pretty much awesome at poop now.

FOR INSTANCE, if your poop floats, you have too much fat in your diet. Your poop should be like soft served ice cream. If that doesn't make you want to vomit, I don't know what else will.

I wonder if people would like poop more if it was...purple or...rainbow colored. I think there's a negative connotation associated with brown. I'm pretty sure blue or lilac would make people like poop more. I know I'd look forward to that. But,

I mean, if you think about girls pooping...that is just not at all gross compared to monthly periods. Sorry to men about getting on the period convo, but, periods are seriously like the most sick nasty thing OF ALL TIME. There is nothing hott about a period. Blood gushing out of you for a week from your vajayjay is not cute. It feels bad, it looks bad, and it smells bad. Fish tacos anyone? (eww Shara you are so inappropriate...oh, I try)

Ever had colonix?? My mom gets it. She loves it. But, she would. I don't know how I feel about someone sticking a tube up my butt & forcing water up through it so, I can watch all the poop come out of me. That's awkward. Who wakes up one morning and goes, "Hey, I think I'll be a colonix person when I grow up." ?

Well, actually, my mom's colonix person...is a WOMAN. She obviously poops because she loves it so much, she's around it all day long!

Well, I'm not sure there was a point to this. Poop, in my mind, is still brown, nasty, and smelly...but, it's a necessary part of life that women DO partake in. This I promise you.

Remember to eat lots of fiber, keep yourself regular, and be happy when you poop. You no longer have that inside of you and you are healthier, happier person because of it.

~Cookie